Ep. 25: White Christmas

One morning last week, as I walked back and forth between the kitchen and the breakfast bar, Mr. Kindly said hello and asked me a question.
"Emily, do you have a copy of White Christmas?"
"Umm...like a recording?"
"No, the sheet music. Look in my cart over there."

There, in the drawer of his walker, was a faded paper copy of White Christmas. Copyright 1942. Freshly printed in the middle of WWII. Irving Berlin plinked it out himself. Bing Crosby made it famous. Mr. Kindly bought a copy and wrote his name in neat, swirling cursive across the front. He used to play piano himself before arthritis and stiff fingers. Now he was gifting me his own copy.

A "thank you" didn't seem like quite enough. "I'll have to play it for you sometime."
"I would like that," he smiled. Perhaps he was thinking of all the times he's played it himself. Memories of snowfall and kids at home and playing Santa Claus. And how he's giving away a piece of that. He is called Mr. Kindly for good reason.

Just before Bingo that day, I went out in the lobby and played through the song on the baby grand that sits there. Mr. Kindly came wandering in, so I played one more time while he sang quietly nearby.

It was a sweet moment, an oasis in what has been a rough year.

And I think, how I want to be like Mr. Kindly when I grow up.

Ep. 24: Buttered Toast

People are people, no matter their age. Some will be kind, curious, rude, condescending, bitter, or funny, and so on. I’m an “old people chef,” and this is my journal.
--
 
There's a golden moment here and there. I push open the dining room doors at 7 and say a "good morning" to the residents who've been waiting right outside for breakfast. I scoop up plates of scrambled eggs and sausage links and toast and place them in front of the early bird residents.

One of them finishes quickly and speeds away, mouth clenched tightly shut as she urges her Hoverround out of the dining room at the speed of light. It was Crankster, the one who bullied Elf last month about being "a moron." I swing by the table to clear her dishes and prepare for the next person.

"She has no patience, that one," says one man from her table.

"Yeah," says Sir Talksalot, sipping on his third giant glass of orange juice, "she was pretty peeved that you didn't butter her toast."

"Well, I only butter toast for people who can't butter it themselves," I say, beginning to fume inwardly about spoiled people. I figure if you have laundry, food, and cleaning all done for you, there's not much left to exercise, and what you exercise (buttoning clothes, buttering toast, dialing the phone) should be left for you to do. Use it or lose it.

Mr. Gentleman had a comment to add as he passed by the table: "Hey, I don't suppose you could put some sugar in my coffee for me?"

"Sugar?" I replied, confused for a moment until I saw the sarcastic expression on his face. I laughed. I threw my head back and laughed. He was making a joke about Crankster being ticked off at having to butter her own toast.

"Mr. Gentleman," I smiled, "you don't need any sugar in there. You are already sweet enough."

He just smiled back and shuffled away with his coffee, shaking his head in amusement at all the crazies in the world.

And that's one of those moments when work is ok. There are kind, funny people in the world. I can stop searching Indeed for remote work. I can stop planning a wilderness cabin for escaping the people and the endless dishes and food. Someone understands. And that changes everything.

Catnip: not just for cats

We had some cats when I was in college, and one day a roommate "accidentally" spilled dried catnip on one of the living room chairs. She "tried" to get it cleaned up, but still left about an eighth of a cup spread over the seat. As soon as the cats caught wind of it, there were hysterically elated, rolling in it, clawing the chair in euphoria, and fighting each other for rights to The Nip.

This is probably most people's experience with catnip, but what they're missing out on is that humans can enjoy it, too. It can be used as a medicinal herb, in food and drink, and to attract bees to the garden. Catnip leaves and flowers can be infused as an herbal tea. It produces a mildly minty, light green liquor that has great benefits for the human body. It's a member of the Mint family, and so has many of the same benefits as peppermint and peppermint tea. It is great for soothing headaches and calming upset stomach. It induces sleep and perspiration without raising body temperature, so it is an excellent choice in relieving colds and fevers. Its minty, cooling qualities are helpful in soothing scalp irritations and as an application to external bruises.

Catnip contains several different vitamins (A, C, and B-complex) as well as many different minerals including magnesium, manganese, iron, selenium, potassium, chromium and others. The vitamin C in addition to its soothing qualities may be why it's so recommended for treating colds and coughs. The iron present in it, as well as the vitamin C necessary to absorbing iron, are probably why it is recommended in treating anemia.

  
Catnip contains nepetalactone, which is a sedative and analgesic. It has a relaxing effect on people, but will not cause the heightened euphoria that cats experience. At one time the dried leaves were smoked as an alternative to catnip tea.
 

Catnip was once revered not only as a medicinal herb, but as a culinary seasoning. Try rubbing some catnip leaves on meat to add flavor. Catnip is closely related to basil, so substituting dry or fresh catnip leaves for basil could work (though I've not tried it...yet).Of course, if you don't want to try it yourself, you can dry the leaves and stuff them into cloth mouse toys for your cats.
 

You may notice all these uses involve the leaves and/or flowers of catnip. There is no clear or current use for the catnip root, but at one time there was a superstition that the root could make a person go mad and do terrible things. The hangman or executioner in those days would supposedly brew a catnip root tea to give him the madness required to successfully take another person's life. Catnip root was then known as "Hangman's Root," which I just learned from a mystery novel of the same name.

Other miscellaneous uses for catnip: the scent repels rats, planting it near veggies protects those plants from flea beetles. My favorite is that catnip repels mosquitos (as do lavender, lemongrass, basil...and many more).

 

Catnip verses Catmint

 
Catnip - this is the one with medicinal properties
latin name: Nepeta cataria
family: Mint (Lamiaceae/formerly Labitae)
 
prefers  moist, well-drained soil in a sunny spot. after flowering, cut it back to encourage further blooms. hardy in zones 4-9 (though I'm in zone 3, and it is rampant in the groves and woods here in Minnesota).

Catmint - this one is a more decorative variety with less effect on cats and no medicinal properties
latin name: Nepeta mussinii
family: Mint (Lamiaceae/formerly Labitae)

enjoys same soil and sun conditions as Catnip. also hardy zones 4-9.

 

Recipes

 

Catnip Tea

use as a pleasing beverage that includes essential vitamins OR as treatment for: upset stomach, gas, indigestion, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, constipation; colds, coughs, sore throat, fever, chills, pneumonia; restlessness, colic, insomnia, anemia, worms, headache, toothache, pain, hives, measles, swelling

1 teaspoon dry (or 3 teaspoons fresh) catnip leaves per 1 cup of boiling water. Let steep 10 minutes before straining out the leaves.

For iced catnip tea, prepare double strength, let cool after straining, and serve over ice.
 



Catnip Bath
use to soothe coughs and colds and to reduce fever, or as a soothing bath for tiredness

Add a sachet of dried or fresh catnip to the tub while it is filling.

Catnip Steam Bowl
this is soothing for cold and cough symptoms

Prepare hot catnip tea and pour into a big glass or metal dish. Sit with your face over the steaming liquid, and place a towel over your head and around the dish to shut in the steam. Breathe deeply.
 
Catnip Poultice
Mash leaves and flowering tops and apply to an external bruise.

Catnip Cheesy Bread
Slice a loaf of French or Italian bread lengthwise. Mix 4 tablespoons melted butter, 4 tablespoons oil, 1 teaspoon garlic powder, and 2 teaspoons dry, chopped catnip. Brush this on the bread. Sprinkle mozzarella cheese over top. Bake 10 minutes at 400 F. Yummmm...note the catnip is used in place of basil, its close cousin.


Sources: 
Bremness. The Complete Book of Herbs: A Practical Guide to Growing and Using Herbs. Viking Studio Books, 1988.
Carter. Herbs: A Garden Project Workbook. Stewart Tabori & Chang, 1997.

"Catnip." Healthy Warehouse, 7 Dec 2016, http://www.healthywarehouse.com/herbs/single-herbs/catnip.asp

Foster and Hobbs. Western Medicinal Plants and Herbs. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2002.

Pursell. The Herbal Apothecary. Timber Press, 2015.

DIY Hard Cider

Cider Batch #4 and #5

 

 These are my fourth and fifth attempts at homemade hard cider, after which I think I have the process pretty firmly planted in my noggin. The idea that these batches may produce sweet, tart, clear apple-flavored elixir excites me. That and the fact that they are made from my parents own organic apple trees, fresh pressed mere days before I started these batches fermenting in single-gallon jugs.

 

Here's the process:

1. Pasteurize the Cider 

Pour the cider into a stockpot and heat to 180 F. Keep at this temperature for about 15 minutes. Do not let it come to a boil, as boiling may prevent sediment from sinking, resulting in permanently cloudy cider. Remove cider from the heat and allow to cool to 105 F. Cooling time took about 30 minutes for me.

 

2. Sterilize the equipment.

You'll need a 1-gallon jug (I used an old wine jug), a rubber stopper, airlock, and a funnel. Sterilize the smaller items in boiling water.

 

It may be easiest to sterilize the gallon jug in the oven: place in cold oven, turn oven to 220 F, when preheated allow to cook for 10 minutes, then shut off the heat and leave jug in the oven until needed.  

 



 

3. Start the yeast

Pictured is the wine yeast I'm using for these batches. I bought a bunch of packets from an online brewing supply store for about 75c each. For a gallon batch, you only need 1/2 a packet.

 

In a measuring cup or small bowl, combine your 1/2 packet of yeast with some warm water (I did about 1/4 cup) and some sugar (I did about 1 T.)

Note on yeast: yeast will not thrive if the water is too cold and it will be killed if the water is too hot. If you have a tendency to kill yeast, start by putting water in your bowl and using a thermometer to gauge the temperature before proceeding. Aim for about 105 F.

4. Combine All the Things

Place a sterilized funnel on the mouth of the sterilized jug. Pour the yeast starter in first. Then pour the sterilized and cooled cider (about 105 F ideally) in next. The pouring action mixes the yeast in pretty well. Pour cider to within an inch or two of the jug's mouth. If you don't have enough cider to get that close, add some water.

Then put on the rubber stopper, place the airlock in the stopper, and pour vodka into the airlock to keep anything from contaminating the cider.

 

 

5. Wait
Place the whole thing in a dark, warm place (average room temperature - 75 F - is ideal). Let those yeasts nom on that sugar for about 2 weeks. If you check on it during this time, you may notice tiny champagne-size-bubbles rising in the cider. You'll see the gas build up (yeast farts) escaping the airlock in occasional bubbles, too. =)

6. Rack the CiderAfter two weeks, you're ready to "rack" the cider, which means removing the layer of sediment that forms at the bottom of the jug (the dregs). This makes for a clearer cider. You can choose to rack just once, or several times. The more you rack the cider, the clearer product you will have.

The siphon: the best way to remove the cider from the sediment without disturbing the sediment is a siphon with a tube. I got a small hand-pump siphon from an online brewer supply site for about $10 and a tube of the same diameter for about $2. It's cheap and works great.
 

photo of siphon from grapestoglass.com

To rack: Place your siphon in the cider, leaving a few inches between it and the bottom of the jug so you don't disturb the sediment. Siphon the cider into another container - a sterilized mixing bowl or stock pot works well.

 

Stop siphoning when there is about 1-2 inches of cider left in the jug. This remaining cider and dregs get dumped. Rinse the jug well to remove any sediment that is stuck.

Then siphon the cider from your bowl or pot back into the jug. Add room temperature water until the cider level is about 1-2 inches from the jug's mouth. Then put the stopper and airlock back in place.

 

This is a good time to clean the airlock - dump out the old vodka (and any fruit flies that drowned trying to access the cider), rinse it out, and replace the vodka.

7. Wait (again)Now that you've racked your cider, it's time to wait some more. This lets any remaining active yeast continue working, dying, and becoming sediment. Wait about one week before racking again, and repeat as much as you want - depending on your level of patience and how clear you want that cider to be.

8. Bottle (or drink)I've bottled cider in glass beer bottles before, which involves purchasing caps and a capper tool. You can save all those bottles from store-bought beer and cider to use for this.

The last time I made cider, I just sterilized some big old wine bottles, siphoned the cider into them (leaving the dregs behind), and crammed some old wine corks into the mouth. Store in a cool, dark place.

 

Or...instead of bottling, have some friends over to sample your home batch of cider. 

 

Ep. 23: Elf's Advisory Committee

People are people, no matter their age. Some will be kind, curious, rude, condescending, bitter, or funny, and so on. I’m an “old people chef,” and this is my journal.
--

Plates are stacked. The steamtable holds buttered vegetables and rice and slabs of fish. The constant whir of the oven and the overhead fans mingles with banter on the radio. That's when the phone rings.

"Kitchen, Emily speaking."
"Emily!" excitement radiates from the voice on the other end. It's one of the residents, who I'll call Elf (like the movie). She's 50-something, but because of some developmental issue has remained about seven years old in her heart and mind.
"Hi, Elf," I reply, a grin growing on my face as I wait for a flood of questions, a whimsical change of mind, or an attack of joyous gusto. I am met with all three.
"It's mahi mahi today, Emily."
"Yes it is."
"I love mahi mahi. Do you love mahi mahi?"
"Yeah, it's pretty good."
"Well, I'm excited, Emily. You guys make the best mahi mahi. My sister makes it, too...last time I was at her house..."

And five minutes later, still smiling, I hang up the phone. What a refreshing change from bitter and cranky and demanding.

Unfortunately, even Elf is not immune to the bitter judgment of the people we serve.

Here's how it was told to me.

It was about a week ago at supper. She was seated with a stellar team:
Crankster, a bitter impatient resident who becomes incensed at the drop of a pin.
All-Star, the self-appointed chairperson of all things that are and are not her business.
Crafty, a manipulative and spoiled person who loves to stir the pot.

So there's Elf, eating an enchilada, raving about its gloriousness, asking questions and sharing stories like any happy seven-year old might do. She doesn't read the condescension on All-Star's face or the sheer hatred and rage of Crankster at being seated with her. Crafty no doubt is beginning to circle, like a vulture patiently waiting for a carcass.

Then she asks for seconds of the glorious enchilada, and that's when the hyenas pounce. She's raving again about this cheese enchilada when Crankster loses what little patience she had with her.
"Shut up. Just shut up. You are an idiot. You are a slow moron and you should not be living here with us," she declares to the seven-year-old heart of the woman next to her.

I wish I'd been there to tell Crankster to go to her room and think about what she's done and to look Elf in the eyes and tell her that none of that is true and don't believe it. It's like a kindergarten class in there.

But the hatefulness didn't end with Crankster's declaration of spite. No. It was just getting started. All-Star decided it was her place to advise Elf on her dieting choice (eating two enchiladas! oh no!!) and Crafty assisted. They followed her back to her room and lectured her at her apartment door for a while before trying to wedge their way in the door after her to continue their advisory committee on her life choices.

It's like we need lunchroom monitors and hall monitors to make sure residents are respecting each other's choices, privacy, and safety. The way they do in elementary schools and high schools.

Elf was completely destroyed. She hid in her room for the next week. Our administrator approved her for room trays at all meals, no charge, so she could avoid the bullies at her table. And then I believe Administrator had each bully into her office (the Principal's Office) to discuss their completely inappropriate behavior.

I wish they could get detention or get charged for verbal assault or be required to do community service. Something.

Elf's back in the dining room this month, now that we're on a new seating chart. She's placed at a table with Mr. and Mrs. Claus. They are so gracious and twinkly-eyed, so good natured and patient. They'll be sweet to her.

I saw her a couple days ago in the hallway before lunch.
"Emily!!" she called. "I'm so happy I can come down to dinner now." As in, so happy she can go without worrying about getting attacked.

"And look at this treeee!!" she exclaimed, gesturing to one of the ten or twenty glittery pines in the building. Her voice held so much reverence, like she'd never seen a Christmas tree before. "Wooow," she murmured, eyes wide, studying the lights and poinsettias, seeming to forget last week's hurts.