Robin Hood (2010)

This movie may have six years of dust resting on it, but it's one that keeps haunting my thoughts about stories and all they should be.

This version of Robin Hood starts out as a more realistic telling, complete with gray morality and human characters. Richard the Lionhearted is corrupt and power-hungry rather than gloriously noble. Robin is a soldier deserting the army rather than the usual green-clad superman chortling at his enemies. Maid Marian is pragmatic and opinionated rather than a helpless and bauble-eyed damsel in distress.

The grey-shaded characters are softened by sweeping British scenery, amusing sexual tension in Robin and Marian's faux marriage, as well as humorous moments that make the middle ages accessible to modern viewers. One example of this is when Little John and the merry men go to the village party and dance with the locals, drink hearty, and do a little carousing. When they meet Marian the following morning, she grins and asks them if they had an "epic night," to which they hurrah in affirmation of that fact. It is just one of many moments when the medieval world leaps from the screen and seems to belong in our own. Those people could be people we know, having a good time on the weekend at the local bar.

The single moment that first engulfed me in the world of the film was early on, the scene in which the real Robin of Locksley is dying on the forest floor and Robin Hood is listening to his last request. There's a camera shot of Hood from the view of Locksley, and the trees can be seen above him, rustling. The sound of the wind in the trees is dubbed into the film, giving the scene a sensation of realism and of heralding Hood's destiny as it is handed to him by Locksley. It was that epic moment that officially submerged me in the reality set forth by the film makers. I handed over my imagination, ready to experience this version of Robin Hood's world.

The road from there included a desperately intense bluff made to Prince John, the introduction of Maid Marian and her father, the wild party in the village, and Robin recalling repressed memories of his father. There's also tough-as-nails Marian killing in self-defense, timing the stabbing of her would-be rapist just so. The last "worth-it" moment in the film is Prince John declaring that it's his first battle. He declares that he'll lead the charge, saying so in his childish voice before galloping off to the scene of the fight. The battle itself marks the beginning of disappointing divergences from the reality and the character which the filmmakers spent so much time creating.

It was such a marked change that I wondered if they switched writers or directors for the battle scene.

Problems:

1. Marian, who never witnessed her father's murder or met his murderer, somehow gallops onto the battle scene chaos and instantly recognizes the culprit and pursues him for revenge.

2. Marian, who has been wise and pragmatic until now, gallops her fully armored self straight into the ocean, falls off her horse, and begins to drown.

3. Robin Hood, who should be busy trying to not get killed, somehow notices her fall and fights his way to where she is spluttering.

4. Once Marian is rescued, the realism of the story completely falls away and takes a leap into Fairy Tale. Instead of getting out of the water, getting to safety, and helping their comrades, they sit in the water and have a sloppy make-out session.

These examples all take place in the span of about 10 minutes and manage to completely destroy the reality the filmmakers had built.

Epic rescues and romantic scenes mid-battle work fine in films like "Pirates of the Carribean," which operate in a world that is consistently unreal. However, when the filmmakers set up the world of the film as realistic and then wait until the third act to depart into fantasy, they only undermine the effectiveness of their tale and break their unwritten promise to the viewer.

The makers of 2010 Robin Hood made this exact mistake. They set up an epic tale tamed by realism, delivered it for the first two-thirds, and then took the easy way out through Fairy Tale Hollywood gimmicks. As it stands, they poked so many holes in their story that its only practical use now is for rinsing vegetables.